


Supersymmetry

by MaevesChild



Series: SWTOR: Focus Determines Reality [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4199865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaevesChild/pseuds/MaevesChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>su·per·sym·me·try (so͞o′pər-sĭm′ĭ-trē)</p><p>A theory in physics that states that for each subatomic particle that carries a force (such as the photon, which carries the electromagnetic force) there is a partner subatomic particle of matter. </p><p>When a Chiss Imperial Agent trained to wear many faces meets a Human Diplomat with many minds in his head, something interesting was bound to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We Wander; We Find Our Way

"He has a detonator! Get down!" 

Cipher Nine didn't even have time to curse before the explosion, trying to dive for cover when her legs were torn out from under her, the shock wave and the floor coming up to meet her. The worst part wasn't even the way her ears popped and the impact of her shoulder hitting concrete and the stars behind her eyes, it was that her last thought as she lost consciousness was that she was going to die without kissing Vector Hyllus.

She woke up to Imperial Intelligence Minder Three, a blazing headache and complete and utter mortification.

It wasn't that kissing anyone was particularly an upsetting scenario.  Even back when she was Brast'artae'cspilla she wasn't opposed to batting her eyelashes to get her way.  Once she left the Ascendancy and with considerable effort became Agent Astartae, she was more than willing to use all her assets in the line of duty.  And when she became Cipher Nine, well, she expected that trend to continue.  

_Lies, Manipulation, Seduction._  Just tricks of the trade.

She'd laid more Imperial officers and criminals and information brokers than she was willing to admit to in polite company.

So the idea that kissing anyone would make her so undone; human, killik Joiner, Imperial diplomat -- whatever he was -- it was boggling.  But there it was; those ridiculous black eyes haunting her, even in unconsciousness. She tried to blame it on his eyes, solid shaded like Chiss eyes and wasn't she biologically predisposed to want her own kind?

_A stretch to say the least._

And he was a  _bug_  for fucks sake, a fact that Kaliyo was forever reminding her.  Even if he was walking around in a man's body he had a bug, a thousand bugs, inside his head and her blatant flirting just seemed to roll off him.

_Ugh, that wasn't fair._

She liked the killiks; She liked the way Vector made them seem anyway.  Damn, her brains really were scrambled.   

"Are you all right Cipher?" Minder Three reached down a hand to get her on her feet.  She shook her head and refused his help, staying firmly on her behind until the ground stopped wobbling.

"Not really, my head's full of rocks because someone just tried to blow me up," she snorted.  She tried to look for Vector subtly, but her neck hurt too much to be subtle.  She gave up.

"Where's-"  She paused. What was he? Her crewmate, her companion, that handsome guy who spoke about himself in first person plural?

"Your-" Minder Three started and she wanted to correct him.  Not mine, even if that sounds like a really important distinction she wanted to think about as soon as all the buzzing in her skull quieted down.  Minder Three also seemed at a loss for words, but apparently Vector figured out they meant him any way.  

"We are here."  He was in better shape than she was; his hair was hardly even dishevelled and a quick brush of his fingers and it laid back against her skull obediently.  His face was passive at first, then the corner of his mouth twitched up.  His alien speech patterns might be killik but that smirk was all human.  "We are glad to see you are well."

_Well._   Shit, she wasn't  _well_.  But he was smiling at her.  He offered her a hand to help her to her feet and his help she accepted.  Minder Three was well trained enough not to even have a twitch of expression.  

_Close enough._

* * *

Lying wasn't particularly hard for her; it came with the job.  But this double agent business, with the programming in her head turning her into a mindless drone at a moment's notice had her on edge.

It didn't help that Vector had gone off on a pilgrimage looking for lost killik colonies.  It made her feel this uncomfortable pang of jealousy inside her ribcage and it was so unlike her she didn't know what to do with it.

_Blast, she hadn't even slept with anyone, in or out of the line of duty, since he came on board on Alderaan.  What was wrong with her?_

There was a strange void to the ship when he wasn't here.  She didn't know if it was in her head or it was some killik pheromone or if she really had it worse for him than even she realized.  But she paced a lot and oiled her rifle and didn't sleep right.  

Then she heard his shuttle dock, the autopilot opening the airlock and the sound of what had become very familiar footsteps coming towards her.  Her heart rate sped up and she felt foolish but she tried to act casual, waiting until she heard him come through the door behind her before turning around.

"So you're back from your pilgrimage," she said.  "I wasn't sure we were going to see you again."

Vector looked puzzled at that, as if she'd said she expected he would have two heads.  "We have, as we promised."  He smiled at her, at first a practiced diplomat's smile, muscle memory from a lifetime of mediation but then his lip quirked a little.  An honest smile, a human one.  It disappeared swiftly however, replaced by disappointment.  "We found only traces.  They found worlds that suited them but could not support them.  They split into a thousand nests and each pointed towards a different star."

He seemed unable to hide how that hurt him.  Astartae's heart clenched.

"I'm so sorry Vector, I know that's not what you were hoping for."  And damn, she really was sorry too.  She would have done almost anything to wipe that sadness off of him, but the worst part was all her usual tricks didn't seem to work with him.

He'd asked if she was single, he responded favorably to her uncharacteristically flailing attempts at flirtation but she struggled to know what he was thinking.  

"It is not, but we are content.  We made contact with the lost nests, even if-"  The beeping on the holocommunicator interrupted him.  Before she could even accept the call, it flared to life.  A beautiful human woman appeared on the holo, her hair in intricate braids and her eyes undeniably as black and fathomless as Vector's.

She gave her name as Daizanna and Astartae let Vector handle it, even as that stupid jealousy reared its head again.  She spoke of reuinions, of the lost colonies that found him just from his efforts to find them, and of celebrations.  It sounded foreign, alien, exotic and somehow erotic in its intimacy.  Astartae resisted the urge to leave the room.

"As his partner, you are welcome to join us."  Astartae's head snapped up.   _His what?_ Vector looked over at her expectantly.

"I...yes, I'd love to see what a killik party is like."  She wondered if that sounded as asinine to hear as it felt like to say.

"Do not worry," Vector said, and she felt the gentle weight of his hand between her shoulder blades.  He didn't touch her often.  It felt like electric sparks shot up her spine.  "We will leave before the pheromones affect you."

Daizanna's holo offered a farewell and flickered off.  Vector was still looking at her.

"Is that...something you'd want?" she asked, feeling woozy.  "For me to be like you are?"

"No," he responded a little too quickly.  "It would not help you in your task.  Though not that we would not enjoy hearing your voice as we hear the Kind, knowing you as intimately as the link of minds allow, but the Joining would change you.  We...I would not like to lose who you are now."

She swallowed.  He didn't move his hand.

"Shall we go?" he asked.  She followed his lead.

* * *

It was...incredible.  If she'd been there on her own, without the Dawn Herald of Oroboros at her side, she expected it would have felt much different.  He explained everything, even answering questions she hadn't thought to ask, half killik and half diplomat as he spoke.  With Vector there, it seemed welcoming and all encompassing; enveloping instead of overwhelming.  

The air smelled of honey, of nectar with a deeper more primal musky scent lingering just underneath.  The pheromones, she imagined, since the scent reminded her of Vector.  She knew their idea of attachment was clearly different, as was their...uh...reproductive methods, but even so, that scent was driving her crazy.  

She found herself standing too close to him, touching him too much but he didn't seem to mind.  He was elated and maybe she was willing to take advantage of it to pretend for a while that those words Daizanna said meant something more than they likely did.

_As his partner._   What an amazing, arousing, stupid idea.

The night began to wind down, Joiners and killiks alike curling up in little body of limbs and bodies to rest, drunk on Membrosia.  Astartae couldn't deny that she was feeling it too, like a soft buzzing in the back of her skull and her arms and legs felt languid and a little too heavy.  She and Vector had found a secluded corner and sat side by side, the sides of their thighs almost touching, but not quite.  She could feel the heat of his body through her leggings but resisted the urge to move closer.

"Can I ask you something Agent?" Vector said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees in an achingly human expression.

"Of course."  Her words weren't quite slurred but one more sip and it probably would start.

"When we were a diplomat, we were good at reading people.  But since our Joining that is harder."  He paused as if he might have cleared his throat had he not been trained to avoid those displays of emotion.  "Now we need to be direct.  I need to know if this relationship," he paused again giving her brain just enough time to scream.

_Relationship. Yes please._

"How close do you wish for us to be?" The question hung there for a moment.

"Come to my chambers some night and I'll show you," her mouth and the Membrosia answered before her brain had a chance to engage.  She felt her cheeks go hot and immediately cursed her pale turquoise skin that she knew flushed violet when she blushed.

A smile spread across his face.  "That does clear things up."  He reached out and brushed his knuckles over her cheek, his hand feeling cool against her flushed skin.  She thought he might kiss her, but instead, he leaned back, tucking himself into the corner and with gentle fingers, encouraged her to lean back against him.  She went willingly and gratefully, turning her head to rest her ear against his chest to listen to his heartbeat.  Her heart was racing wildly, but his was calm and steady.

"There are things we have not yet remembered," he said.  He voice sounded deeper reverberating through his chest.  "But we will work on that."

_Well that...oh...that explained some things._

"You really don't...remember?" she asked and though it wasn't terribly direct, she hoped he would understand.

"No and yes," he said.  "If we concentrate on the memories from before, we know what we have done in our life, but it is like reading about it in a book instead of recalling an experience.  But we can serve the Nest better as Dawn Herald and serve you better if we can reclaim that part of our mind that makes us human and not only killik.  You have inspired us to try harder to recover what was lost."

She didn't want to sound overeager, but in a way, he was trying harder for her than anyone else ever had, in all her easy tumbles in and out of beds across the galaxy.  "If it makes you happy, then I'll support you in whatever you want to do, Vector."

"Thank you Agent," he said.  She felt his chin rest softly on the top of her head.  "We wish to make you happy as well." 


	2. Memories; Deep and Wild

Vector was still relearning what it meant to be human.

The Kind knew he would be most valuable to the Nest, as Dawn Herald, as emissary if he was able to remember how to relate to humans.  It was strange; his memories were there but they felt like something he had once watched on a holo, not experienced.  It was as if his past was just events he'd read about, not witnessed with his own eyes.  

His eyes were different now too, but he recognized himself in the mirror even so.

He practiced thinking to himself, pondering and daydreaming instead simply listening to the Nest.  It wasn't easy, but he was motivated.

He did not remember entirely what it was like to be human, but he knew that Agent Astartae was remarkable and he was more grateful than he expected to be when he was reassigned to her command.

She could have solved every problem with violence and she had the ability to do so, yet she used cleverness and compassion instead.  He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about it, since his emotions were still shaken inside his head, but he knew he was drawn to her.  

He was drawn to her not just as one of The Kind looking for new information for the nest, but also that part of him that was still a man.  

He would try harder.

He'd been direct, admitting his inability to read her as he once might have.  There was a small part of him that realized it was awkward, but he needed to know if his growing fascination with her was something he could explore.  

She seemed more than willing despite the oddness he knew he possessed.  

Vector smiled now.  

The Nest tempered him; his once passionate emotions mellowed into a sweet, even contentment.  He didn't frown as a Joiner, but he just as rarely smiled.  She touched parts of him he thought were lost.

But there was work to be done for them both.  He let himself focus when he could and would let his mind repair itself in its time.  The Kind knew when the flowers bloomed through the snow on Alderaan.  There was no point in hoping for nectar when it was not the season.  

This too would come.

 

* * *

 

Taking her to be among the Kind thrilled him.  Vector actually felt it, this closeness with her that he'd felt with no one who was not of the Nest since his joining.  It was odd; he had a vague memory of emptiness, of this lack of wholeness that had made him so willing to go through with the Joining with the nest.  He couldn't quite remember why he felt that way, but he knew the memory was there, he just had yet to access it.

It would come.

Astartae's breath had smelled like Membrosia and he could see the electrical pulses on her skin fluctuate as the evening progressed.  He felt the undeniable urge to touch her, something he rarely felt anymore.  There was little need for physical touch with all those voices in his mind, and the Kind, they touched rarely, their exoskeletons making gentle contact pointless.

But he wasn't a killik, even if he was part of their nest.  That was a part he needed to remember.  He had joined their family, but his body was still human.  His body sometimes reminded him that touch was part of being human.

Astartae leaned back against him with his gentle urging and he set his chin on her hair.  He could smell her particular scent from far away, but it was sweeter up close, with the softness of her black hair against his skin.  He wondered what her hair might look like if she took it down from the knot on the back of her head.  

He'd asked her if she wished for more contact, in his way, and as she laughed and joked her aura flared brightly.  He still wasn't sure what that meant -- unlike the killik, all humanlike beings had different ways their electrical auras would respond to stimulus.  He took it as a good sign, however.  He only hoped she could be patient as he worked to recover the rest of his memories, the rest of what made him a man.

She sighed and her muscles relaxed, leaning against his chest in earnest now that he'd admitted he wanted to make her happy.  He did.  He felt the intense need to see her smile, to feel this feeling, even if he didn't entirely understand it yet.

He wanted it.  It was nice to want something again.  It gave him an idea.  

 

* * *

 

Vector's idea was a brilliant one.  He would make the Kind part of the Empire.   _Imagine the possibilities?_   But it took up far more of his time than he realized it would

He always underestimated how much time work took.  

That thought made him pause.  That was a memory.  He took too much time for work and not enough time for the rest of his life, at least according to others.  He remembered...something, vaguely.  He didn't dwell.

His work was important to him, but perhaps it was also important to remind those that he cared for that they were important as well.  It seemed as if that was a lesson he had once learned painfully.

The memory was right there, but he didn't want to remember.  Not yet.  He wasn't ready.

Even so, he needed to make sure Astartae knew that she was important.  It was her influence that inspired him.  It was her care that had allowed him to come this far, to find so much of the man again.

He also very much wanted to kiss her, if she'd allow it.  He remembered kissing.  He missed it.

She came when he asked, because she always did.  He was sitting on a crate, attempting to meditate to center his mind in the part that was human when she walked in.

"You wanted to talk?"  She smiled at him faintly, but her eyes were tight.  

"We are sure you have noticed we have been distant. Our obsession as of late has been the alliance between the killiks and the Empire.  We want you to know this was not intended."

She tried to hide the frown in her eyes with flippant words.  "We were getting closer for a while, but then you pulled back."

"It was not intended," he repeated. "We have repaired the part of our brain that remembered humanity."  He felt a sudden surge of discomfort he recognized as trepidation.  Instinctively, his hand went to his mouth, almost to comfort himself. He was nervous.  It felt odd, like a new type of electrical energy on his skin.  It excited him.  "We don't want to be distant anymore."

The sadness around her eyes seemed to fade and this time her smile was genuine. 

"You might need to prove it to me," she said.  He loved the way her cheeks looked when she really smiled.  "I do have other options."

He could hear the joking tone in her words.  He had come so far since leaving Alderaan.  He'd found so much more of himself again.

"As you wish," he said and moved towards her.  She stepped into his arms and his body knew immediately what to do; arms wrapping around her, his face leaning down until their lips touched.  

Softly, so softly but the sensation shot through him as their auras mingled.  There were sparks of color he could see even through his eyelids.  

_Kissing._   It was wonderful.  It was not like he remembered.  It was better.


End file.
